So this week I wrote an article for Ikon London Magazine and I think it has to be one of my favourites so far – Deadly Selfies: What They Say About You.
When I started this one I thought that it would be purely about silly people that have paid the ultimate price for fame – death – but it wasn’t.
When I started my research I found a really quite dark and disturbing truth that selfies are a big sign of narcissism, self-objectification and psychopathy – traits and characteristics of abusive partners, someone with a lack of empathy and egocentric in every way.
For those who don’t know narcissism is a belief that you’re more attractive, smarter and better than others, but with some underlying insecurity and a lack of empathy, while psychopathy involves a lack of empathy and regard for others and a tendency toward impulsive behaviour.
There are levels: some people have low levels of these traits which aren’t so bad but those, particularly men, who scored higher levels for these characteristics were often violent and aggressive individuals who thought of women as money grabbing, gold diggers.
It is commonly known that men make up about 75 percent of narcissists however since the eighties there has been about a 10 percent increase in those with narcissistic tendencies, of which women account for that rise.
I actually found an amazing check list on a site called Hooking Up Smart for the female narcissist and I swear I know at least 5 girls/women with more than one of the traits and characteristics, and you don’t even need to check off all twenty to be a female narcissist. So what are those traits?
How to Identify a Female Narcissist
Physical Appearance
She dresses provocatively, flaunting sexually suggestive body parts.
She focuses attention on makeup and hair, even for the most mundane tasks or events.
She is overly confident about her looks. Research shows that narcissists are no more attractive than other people, but they believe they are much better looking than other women.
She places high value on brand names, and feels entitled to wear “the best.” She frequently purchases new clothing, and does not distinguish between wants and needs.
She is more likely to have plastic surgery, most commonly breast augmentation.
She enjoys being photographed, and often asks others to snap her picture. She enthusiastically shares the best pics of herself on Facebook or other social media sites. She will sometimes invest in a professional photographer for a portrait that she uses on Facebook or for online dating.
Personality/Character
She insists on being the centre of attention, and is often the most charming person in the room. Narcissists are very outgoing and excel at marketing themselves.
She often seeks favourable treatment, and automatic compliance. She believes that she is special, and that she deserves fame, fortune, success and happiness.
She is highly materialistic.
She is prone to envy, though she presents as supremely confident. She seeks opportunities to undermine others, and enjoys sharing confidences about how the two of you are better than others.
She is convinced that others are envious and jealous of her, and often uses this excuse for her lack of real, intimate friendships. When her friends enjoy successes of their own, she finds ways to punish them by downplaying their achievements.
She lacks empathy and even common courtesy at times. She puts others down, including you. She does not hesitate to exploit others.
She is very competitive.
She believes that she is intellectually superior to her peers.
She blames others for problems. Narcissists don’t believe that they make mistakes, and lack the ability to process shame.
She displays a haughty attitude when she lets her guard down or is confronted. She will act impatient, arrogant and condescending. She will often excuse her own shortcomings by claiming that others are pressuring her or expecting too much of her.
She is dishonest and often lies to get what she wants. She will never admit this.
She is “psycho:” She engages in risky behaviours, has an addictive personality, and is prone to aggressive behaviour when rejected. (Note: This is most common with Histrionic Personality Disorder.)
She is unpredictable in her moods and actions. You have trouble figuring out what she wants and where you stand.
She is capable of short-term regret, and will apologize profusely if backed into a corner. However, she will quickly rationalize her behaviour and return to narcissistic patterns.
So why not have a read, let me know what you think. And next time you go to take another selfie ask yourself do I need another picture of myself and what will it say about you?
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