Shop Happy: 3 Steps to a Better Shopping Experience

For me personally, shopping used to be a traumatic experience. I absolutely hated going shopping because if I am honest, I didn’t know how to shop. I didn’t know about dressing my shape, or what colours suited me.

I didn’t have a clue about fabrics, cuts and shapes. All I knew was t-shirts, jeans, and jumpers, in black and grey with a little blue thrown in there.

Even going out was not a happy time for me, what could I wear – I had this wardrobe full of clothes that either didn’t fit me, look terrible on, made me look even worse if that was possible at all – but then I met Joe, and my world changed.

Joe Alvares is an amazing man and the Editor in Chief at Ikon London Magazine, a celebrity, fashion and current affairs online magazine, and he gave me a job – yes, a real life “Devil Wears Prada” experience, happening to me – except I’m a writer not his assistant. (Thank you so much Joe.)

I was so happy to have been given a platform, and an opportunity to learn how to write, to explore a world that seemed so far away from my everyday, normal existence, but I would never have guessed what would happen next.

I had always thought I would be writing current affairs, and to be honest -I am pretty much allowed to write about whatever I like, with little interference providing the piece is well balanced, and fits in with the magazine. But then one day, Joe asked me to cover London Collection:Mens, and I panicked, WTF was I going to wear?

So I took my savings, £300 and I had to change my wardrobe and make me look like I belonged in the world of fashion, and I learnt that in order to really look good, you have to shop for your shape.

One of the dresses bought for LCM, worn in Cannes 2016. I would never have worn patterns before buying this dress. WEARING:Ariella (dress), Jimmy Choo (shoes) Mango (jacket) 

Like me, most women don’t really know what shape they are or what types of clothes actually suit their shape.

We can spend hours trawling shops or on the internet just looking for something we like, in the hope that it will fit us properly and is of a good quality too, without even a second thought to whether it actually suits our particular body shape or not.

To help you cut out the hoping and praying that the clothes will suit you, I’ve put together a really quick guide to your first step in taking back control when it comes to shopping.

In doing so you will cut down your clothes shopping bill, reduce your trips back to the shop to exchange the things that don’t fit or look right, and get rid of the unwanted purchases stuck in the back of your wardrobe because they just weren’t right for you.

So here are my 3 easy steps that I recommend you do before you go shopping again – I promise it will make all the difference to how you shop and getting it right more often than not.

Step One- Work out your shape.

For this I would suggest using the body shape calculator by shop your shape.

Step Two- Identify the style of clothes that suit your shape.

You can check out our Pinterest which has a variety of examples of the styles to suit your shape.

Step Three- What’s in season – find your look

This is the fun bit, check out current trends on the catwalk that way you will always be in fashion no matter whether you choose vintage or current trends.

You can also do this on our Pinterest SS16 and AW16/SS17 boards.
Once you’ve followed these three steps you will be ready to go shopping. So why not have a go and Shop Happy.

Next Time in The Shop Happy Series: How to Get The Labels You Want at a Budget You Can Afford.

The Narcissist And Their Selfies

So this week I wrote an article for Ikon London Magazine and I think it has to be one of my favourites so far – Deadly Selfies: What They Say About You.

When I started this one I thought that it would be purely about silly people that have paid the ultimate price for fame – death – but it wasn’t.

When I started my research I found a really quite dark and disturbing truth that selfies are a big sign of narcissism, self-objectification and psychopathy – traits and characteristics of abusive partners, someone with a lack of empathy and egocentric in every way.

For those who don’t know narcissism is a belief that you’re more attractive, smarter and better than others, but with some underlying insecurity and a lack of empathy, while psychopathy involves a lack of empathy and regard for others and a tendency toward impulsive behaviour.

There are levels: some people have low levels of these traits which aren’t so bad but those, particularly men, who scored higher levels for these characteristics were often violent and aggressive individuals who thought of women as money grabbing, gold diggers.

It is commonly known that men make up about 75 percent of narcissists however since the eighties there has been about a 10 percent increase in those with narcissistic tendencies, of which women account for that rise.

I actually found an amazing check list on a site called Hooking Up Smart for the female narcissist and I swear I know at least 5 girls/women with more than one of the traits and characteristics, and you don’t even need to check off all twenty to be a female narcissist. So what are those traits?

How to Identify a Female Narcissist

Physical Appearance

She dresses provocatively, flaunting sexually suggestive body parts.

She focuses attention on makeup and hair, even for the most mundane tasks or events.

She is overly confident about her looks. Research shows that narcissists are no more attractive than other people, but they believe they are much better looking than other women.

She places high value on brand names, and feels entitled to wear “the best.” She frequently purchases new clothing, and does not distinguish between wants and needs.

She is more likely to have plastic surgery, most commonly breast augmentation.

She enjoys being photographed, and often asks others to snap her picture. She enthusiastically shares the best pics of herself on Facebook or other social media sites. She will sometimes invest in a professional photographer for a portrait that she uses on Facebook or for online dating.

Personality/Character

She insists on being the centre of attention, and is often the most charming person in the room. Narcissists are very outgoing and excel at marketing themselves.

She often seeks favourable treatment, and automatic compliance. She believes that she is special, and that she deserves fame, fortune, success and happiness.

She is highly materialistic.

She is prone to envy, though she presents as supremely confident. She seeks opportunities to undermine others, and enjoys sharing confidences about how the two of you are better than others.

She is convinced that others are envious and jealous of her, and often uses this excuse for her lack of real, intimate friendships. When her friends enjoy successes of their own, she finds ways to punish them by downplaying their achievements.

She lacks empathy and even common courtesy at times. She puts others down, including you. She does not hesitate to exploit others.

She is very competitive.

She believes that she is intellectually superior to her peers.

She blames others for problems. Narcissists don’t believe that they make mistakes, and lack the ability to process shame.

She displays a haughty attitude when she lets her guard down or is confronted. She will act impatient, arrogant and condescending. She will often excuse her own shortcomings by claiming that others are pressuring her or expecting too much of her.

She is dishonest and often lies to get what she wants. She will never admit this.

She is “psycho:” She engages in risky behaviours, has an addictive personality, and is prone to aggressive behaviour when rejected. (Note: This is most common with Histrionic Personality Disorder.)

She is unpredictable in her moods and actions. You have trouble figuring out what she wants and where you stand.

She is capable of short-term regret, and will apologize profusely if backed into a corner. However, she will quickly rationalize her behaviour and return to narcissistic patterns.

So why not have a read, let me know what you think. And next time you go to take another selfie ask yourself do I need another picture of myself and what will it say about you?